ℳ Barnold Schwarzenegger

(Scroll to the bottom for the base stats & check my profile's mission statement to see why the stud fee is so low and how you can support the cause)


Barnold comes from a bizarre place far, far away where people constantly speak in a weird, slurred way because they have hot potatoes on top of regular potatoes in their mouths. It is frankly hard to understand them and there is always the odd chance of potato pieces being spit at you. This is why Barnold eventually left his home country (that and something abou an incident involving barnabolic studoids and his desire to get into acting).

Now that Barnold has made it here, he is horse-bent on conquering the world with his muscular manly power (he is a four time Mr. Barniverse!), his terrible accent and his lackluster acting ability, perpetually busy coming up with catchphrases (such as "Hasta la granero!" and "You'll be back!"). However when he is not busy doing just that, he loves to train with his bros (Sylvester Stallione, Hugh Tackman and Nickerlas Cage) and go to the odd rock concert and get drunk.

If you are looking to get a Grade A date for your mare, look no further. All Barnold wants is the equivalent of a rock concert's ticket price or a monthly supply of nutrition supplements - and enough for a couple beers in either case.